


Meaning Of Life

by LonelyAquarian



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Confidence, Connections, F/M, Love, commitments, empowerment, faith - Freeform, life - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-05-08 20:45:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14701956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LonelyAquarian/pseuds/LonelyAquarian
Summary: What Is The Meaning Of Life In Sam and Gilly's Relationship?





	1. A Minute

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jerry_Larchive](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jerry_Larchive/gifts).



Life. 

Love.

Faith.

Hope.  
  
Charity.

Moments.

Heartbreak.

So on and so forth.

It’s a lot that goes on in life, and sometimes, I forget that I am a human being that need some time for myself. It’s crazy that I can go around taking care of everyone else, and forgetting that I need to take care of myself too. Crazy, right? It’s the life of being an individual in this crazy world. Sometimes, when I just drink my wine, I think of the word’s Kelly Clarkson sang when I first picked up her new album. It was beautiful. 

 _Sometimes I need to unwind  
Sometimes I need some down time_

_Sometimes I need a minute just for me_  
_I need a minute just to be_  
_I need a minute just to breathe_

 _Sometimes I need a minute that's my own_  
_I need a minute in my zone_  
_Where I can say just what I want_  
_I need a minute_

Ooh, how I need a glass of wine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first AU GOT Story. What do you think?


	2. Love So Soft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love.....

Every time I dream about Sam and myself, I see myself all dolled up in a red stunning dress similar to Jessica Rabbit’s dress, long black gloves and black aviator sunglasses. Damn, I look good in that dream. Anyway, Sam kissed my cheek and let me just tell you this: every single time he kisses me, it feels like a door to infinite emotions and abilities that I have yet to discover.

If a touch were a key, then there would be a million doorways that would be opened up. Which door is the one to open me up to everything that Sam has to offer? I think the best answer that I can give you would be the key to my heart. My heart can tell you many things that I know you would want to hear however, my heart is the one thing that carries all of my emotions when it comes to love. Yes, sometimes I am so stubborn to let anyone in, but Sam was the only one to keep on twisting and knocking on my door so I can let him into my life, and I appreciate it.

At first, it was a little nerve wracking to let him in my life, but once I did, he got closer to me in ways that I didn’t even expect. He even got under my skin – in a good way – and he stayed there. It’s strange. I let him get under my skin and into my life, which honestly shocked me, but I welcomed it for a couple of personal reasons I will get to later. What one might look down upon on Sam are the things that I like best about him. For example, Sam can be extremely timid, awkward, cowardly, nervous and easily frightened but underneath all of that, Sam is actually a great man. He is extremely loyal to those who show him kindness. If you don’t believe me, then I suggest that you ask his best friend – who is like his brother – Jon Snow.

The point that I am trying to emphasize is that no matter how you perceive Sam to be, he was the one person to actually show me what love is in the way that I needed it. The heart is a fragile thing, but he is oh so careful with it, and it’s great not to get toyed with. Love, is….. Let me start again by quoting what I actually mean when it comes to love and heart.

 _Love so soft, you ain't had nothing softer_  
_Break it then you buy it and it sure gonna cost ya_  
_Love so soft that you can't rub off_  
_You gon' love it if you try it_  
_Got you hooked, now you're caught up_  
_Love so soft, so soft_  
_Love so soft, so soft_

Yup. I think that’s a good quote. I only say that because I can probably give you a few different thoughts on how I think about that quote. Love cannot be bought in anyway shape or form. Sam loves me for being myself, which makes me feel like….. a monument. If he were to ever break my trust or do anything to hurt me, trust me when I say that I will turn him into an asterisk. Thankfully, he hasn’t done anything to warrant me turning him into an asterisk, so he’s in good health.

Is it strange that I want to say that I got him hooked on me? Like, I remember one this one time that we were at my Jon’s house for Sam’s birthday, and he said the most amazing thing ever.

 

**♂+♀=♥**

_“I feel so free and I can be myself, your parents are the best people ever, your friends are so cool, your grandma is a feisty cookie, and you…..” He sighs. “You shine like the light from the sun.” He finishes with a smile on his face._

**♂+♀=♥**

Damn!

That was really smooth! I don’t know where he got that from, but it really was smooth and that is my all-time favorite memory with Sam. You want to know why it was my favorite memory of Sam? Well, that was the moment that he proposed to me.

**♂+♀=♥**

_“Gilly. Gilly, I know that this might sound impetuous, but I’m in that stage of my life where I can’t afford to waste any more time. I know when a thing is right, and you are right for me. Gilly, I love you with all of my heart, and I will always cherish that for the rest of our lives. Gilly, will you make me the happiest man on Earth, by marrying me?”_

_“Yes.”_

**♂+♀=♥**

That was the best day of my life. I didn’t even see it coming, and even if I had, I still would have said yes because a man like Sam comes once in a lifetime. What I love about our relationship is that we aren’t afraid to “go there” when it comes to our relationship. For example, whenever I feel down and don’t want to talk about it, he can easily read me like a book.  I can be…. closed off and sullen, but once I opened up to Sam, then I feel like I can walk on air. Sam has said on several occasions that he loved that about me. It’s crazy that he knows what I am going to say before I can even say it.

He even made a list about me. Crazy, right?

  * **One:** He misses the way I smell when I am away.
  * **Two:** He loves the way I speak. Specifically when I can speak when I am very open, honest and speaks well for myself when I talk about others.
  * **Three:** The way I would grab his hand when we’re watching a movie, or when the dark became too much.
  * **Four:** Sense of humor.
  * **Five:** My character.
  * **Six:** Walk around without a care in the world.
  * **Seven:** The way I would smile when I sleep.
  * **Eight:** How I rub my feet together when I can’t sleep.



I can’t believe he made a list. That man loves me, I tell ya. If every thought that I had come true, then we would be doing things that I know we probably shouldn’t do (in public at least.) If I needed to know something or draw the line somewhere, then he would abide by it. Now, if it were the opposite, then I would ask him if he would protect me or respect me, but thankfully that isn’t the case. I for one am happy that I let him in and got something more in return.

What makes me happy is the fact that he earned my love, without being crass or ignorant about it. He’s held on to it very tightly, and knowing that he’s given me life is just amazing. So what if it’s clichéd? All I know is that love is an endearing privilege that Sam and I had chosen to exercise, and that it is here to stay.  Now, did I ever make it a mission to find love? No, it never was, but I am very happy to have found it.


	3. Heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spice is Nice!

Whether it is sexually, physically or mentally. You constantly want to be surprised at what you find out about your partner and constantly want to figure out new things. People change, constantly, so exploring every part of your partner is a great way to heat up your relationship!

 

  * If you've been with your partner for a while, it might seem like sex is not even on the radar. That should never be the case with any relationship. So ladies, if you're looking to follow just a few relationship tips, this is one that you should follow: make sex a priority! It a lot to take in, but I for one, think that's true on all levels.
  * If you're looking for a way to spice up your relationship a little bit, you might want to ditch the standard nude cotton panties and instead, get out some sexy underwear! Ladies, trust me on this, it'll make all the difference behind closed doors. You could even try panties that you've never tried before, such as thongs.
  * Everybody has a fantasy. Whether you want to admit it or not, you probably have all kinds of fantasies. Well ladies, share them with your partner! It's a great way for them to know you inside and out and that way, you might be able to fulfill some of them! This is absolutely one of my favorite relationship tips to put into practice!
  * When you've been with someone for a while, you're wish list can change a lot. A wish list is everything that you wish to do with and to that person – or maybe it is a wish list of everything that you want done to you. Whatever the case, make one up and trade lists with your partner. It'll be a fun little activity for the two of you!
  * While reading might seem boring, I think that reading to your partner is so sexy. You're sharing knowledge, beautiful words and awesome descriptions. Who knows, maybe you could read some erotica to one another and really heat up your relationship!
  * Intimacy can be everything from just having a deep conversation all the way to actual sex. Whenever you're in a relationship, you want to make sure that you're creating intimacy. Whether it is through sex or just through talking. Don't let that intimacy go ladies!
  * A relationship, especially if you've been it in a while can be hard to spice up. Well ladies, why not try a few new things? Try a different position, try a different location. Heat it up ladies! It's easy and trust me, it's worth it!
  * The final relationship tip that I'm going to talk about is toys. There are tons and tons of sexual toys out there that can be used. If you're looking for a way to heat up your relationship, why not bring them into the bedroom with you? Who knows, you might love your toys!
  * Even though **relationship tips** aren't always easy to follow, they definitely can help in any relationship. So ladies, are there any **relationship tips** that you have used in the past? Can you share some experience with girls that might just be starting a relationship? Come on, give some advice and **relationship tips** on how to keep things hot and steamy!



 

Now, I know that I didn’t say everything that I needed to say, but that’s alright because on the opposite spectrum of giving good heat, I realize that one can be sick and tired of putting in all the work in the relationship and the other person isn’t trying. Like, why is that the default in a relationship when a seemingly good relationship is actually unhealthy? It just sucks that one person is always hurt because of neglect in every sense of the word. Would showing a little appreciation hurt at all?

I recently started watching the show _Insecure_ lately, and there's a couple who's going through some things that are just problematic. Issa and Daniel is the couple that everyone is rooting for. Sure they have their problems such as Issa being at a job she is passive-aggressive about and Lawrence was a man just down on his luck, but everyone had been rooting for them because they were the only couple that had strong potential to have a great life. The problem that this couple had was they weren't communicating, the heat had been lost, and Issa cheated on her boyfriend of five years. I could go on, but I won't because long story short, it's a mess that I enjoy watching. 

You know what? If the person who’s constantly hurt takes back their appreciation from their significant other who isn’t trying, I wouldn’t be mad at it. The only reason I say that is because if you take your appreciation back, then maybe, just maybe, your partner will start remembering that there is another person to consider. Ask the questions that need to be asked.

“Where is the heat?”

“Where is the appreciation?”

“Where is the fire?”

“Where is the spark?”

 _Come turn this around_  
_(Oh, whoa, oh)_  
_No, no, don't let us down_  
_I need more heat from ya, baby_  
_Make me feel weak for ya, babe_  
_(Oh, whoa, oh)_  
_And I feel alive_  
_(Oh, whoa, oh)_  
_Like my heart's in the wild_  
_I need more heat from ya, baby_  
_Make me feel weak for ya, babe_


	4. Meaning of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meaning and Such

_"The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves."_ – Alan Watts

 

Is that true? For this Alan person, it's true for him since he limited his choice to just one thing in life. In my case, I do agree that the meaning of life is to be alive, however, I don't think that there should just be one thing to validate the meaning of live. For me, I can come up with different things that I define as the meaning of life. Life, love, faith, family, health, strength, knowledge, giving back, creativity and most importantly, having time for yourself to sort out your priorities are what I consider the meaning of life.

When I think of life, I think of what life has given me. For example, life has taught me that nothing is guaranteed in at all. You have to take it one day at a time to the best of your limits. It's one of those _"Live for today because tomorrow isn't promised"_ kind of things, you know? I guess since life is unpredictable, it's safe to say that life will always be great, especially when a new life comes into the world, or when one simply passes away, being relieved from all the hurt, and suffering that they've endured. Life is just crazy, but it is wonderful.

Love? Where can I go with that one? Hmm, guess that love is just one of those words that you could spend hour and hours defining. Love is supernatural on all levels. For me, love is..... love is like skydiving. In terms of love, you won't know if your parachute is gonna work, you're not sure if you'll land right, you're not even sure if you'll make it out alive. But when you do fall in love, man it's gonna be amazing. Head first and all that shit about regrets?  They're gonna be gone. Love....It'll be something amazing, it'll be something you'll always have, and isn't that worth it?

Faith. I think faith is a huge part in the meaning of life because faith, as I know it, is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. I also believe that faith is a preresiquite for hope and love. So in a sense, faith is belief in something and a requirement to possess other things. I feel as though if I didn't have faith, I would be another lost soul in our crazy world that just seems to be getting a lot more worse by the minute. For me, I don't believe that God would bring me this far to leave me. He's brought me here and this far in life for a reason, and I am going embrace it. I know that it won't be easy and that the road will be a tough one to trek through, but I can't give up on Him. Of course I will fail, feel like there's nothing left to hope for and have doubts, but at long as I keep the faith, I know that I will be alright.

For me, the meaning of life also includes having a family. Now of course, I can subconsciously make my own family, and I am happy to do so when certain family members need the boot from my life. I know that everyone has a family member or two that just needs to go, and I have to be honest, I have let some of them go. At this point, I don't care because they have treated me so badly for years and years even when I was there with them from thick and thin. As far as I'm concerned, I don't hear them, don't see them, so they don't exist to me at all. The ones that are the best, plus the ones that I have included in life, are the ones that I dedicate myself to because they're the ones who actually give two shits about me.

Health and strength is vital in the meaning of my life. Without these two, I don't think that I could function in life because life is hard. For me, health and strength are important because I want to live my life to the fullest. I want to be able to say that I had to work hard to be where I need to be in order to see how people of the next generation do things. I want to be able to help people put their lives in perspective when they ask me. More importantly, health and strength are very important to be because I believe that they are the two things that are something that you can always improve on when you feel like you're not up to par on the standards that you've set upon yourself.

When I say knowledge is an important factor in my life, people look at me like I am a crazy person. See, Knowledge is very important to me because I think of it as history. I would like to know what is happening now so that we don't repeat it in the future. I want to know who I am as a person right now so that I know where to go in the future. I also think that being knowledgeable helps because you are differentiating what is right and wrong in the world. If one doesn't want to have a little bit of knowledge, then I feel that they would be ignorant for the rest of their life. Alas, one could only dream, but having knowledge is good enough for me.

An expression that I have always lived by was, and still do, would be giving back. I incorporated that into the meaning of my life because it helps me come at peace with myself. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy receiving, but I have learned that giving back makes me feel a lot better because the feeling of giving back to someone less fortunate than I am is very rewarding. Even if I had nothing to give back, I would still find a way to give back because I was always taught to give back because there are other people in this world who can benefit from what you give, plus you can always replace whatever you've given to someone or lost.

Creativity for me is one of the one things that I have loved about life. To me, being creative is very important because it's an escape that I never knew I needed. If I weren't creative, I think that I would be a problem with problems, and if I were a problem with problems, then I'd feel sorry for the one person who crosses me. See, I love that I can go off and escape in my head and show people what I am capable of. One of the best things that I love to do when I am creating a drawing is to listen to music. People have told me that I shouldn't do that because that's too many elements going on and that it's distracting. To them, I say whatever because that's one tactic that has always worked for me. The main reason why I think that creativity is important to me is because I love seeing people's reactions when they see the finished product. The reaction to the finished product makes me smile because I love seeing how people feel about, even when I think it's mediocre. Overall, creating things make me smile, so why not make someone else smile?

Loving yourself is something that I am still learning to do. I have to admit that I do neglect myself, but eventually I do knock myself back down to where I need to be. Sleeping, taking care of myself, so on and so forth. I think when I take the time to take care of myself, I find that I actually need to talk to someone. I need to make sure that I can be resourceful to others when I am needed. I have to find someone I trust who I feel comfortable with to be myself. It's hard, but I do remember that I am a person and that I am a person who shouldn't be judged by anyone who feels the need to do so.

 

_"Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer."_

_"We're here for a reason. I believe a bit of the reason is to throw little torches out to lead people through the dark."_

_"In our lives there is a simple color, as on an artist's palette, which provides the meaning of life and art. It is the color of love."_

_"To be what we are and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life."_

What is your meaning of your life?

 _Baby, I've been living in the dark_  
The only friend I've got here is my broken heart  
Feeling like I've finally had enough  
Living like an animal can be so rough

_I've been waiting so long for you to come my way  
And now I, I can't wait another day_

 


	5. Move You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reciprocating Love

Ever wanted to figure out how to give your partner what you've received, in terms of love? I know I've wondered how to do that on more than one occasion. I guess the best thing that I could say is that I want my partner to feel the love that was given to me, and let me just say, it feels good. See, here's what I understand about reciprocating love. Please bear with me because this is probably going to be long.

Reciprocity will be difficult or impossible to develop and maintain if one partner in the relationship believes that they are and must be superior or in control. Likewise, a person who is highly competitive may have difficulty understanding and learning how to create reciprocity in an intimate relationship. Reciprocal relationships require a spirit of cooperation, as well as an understanding of and ability to embrace interdependence. To cultivate a lasting, committed relationship, both partners must have and be able to continue to nurture feelings of love for each other.

Reciprocity is developed and woven into good enough relationships, sometimes without participants knowing that is what they are doing. With awareness, it can become a robust, healthy feature of the relationship. Reciprocity requires people to be invested in their relationship. If a relationship is important enough to them, partners will be emotionally invested in it enough to work at building and maintaining it. Commitment is sustained through the improvement of reward-cost balance in relationships. The most useful investments are those that tap into what the partner has contributed emotionally. Passion is a vital condition in healthy relationships. Reciprocated love is related to feeling fulfilled. Reciprocated love and emotional contribution are behavioral investments that sustain a committed relationship.

Wasn't that a lot? To me, it seems like a lot and to be quite honest, it makes a lot of sense to me. Reciprocal love is a two-way street, and it is very important because being the only one to give and not receive anything back in return is a bad look, in terms of being in a relationship. I mean, is it a bad thing that one wants to share the meaning of life with their partner? Some might say that it is, but be honest with me, don't you want to share something special with somebody special? Anyway, here's my favorite part of reciprocal love.

To create a reciprocal relationship, both partners need to be able to accept responsibility for that creation. The interdependence of a healthy relationship requires that both people accept personal responsibility. One partner cannot take all the blame while the other partner gives all the blame. Acceptance of responsibility for the creation of a reciprocal relationship takes a high degree of emotional maturity, which takes awareness, time, and personal work to develop. This can be the most rewarding work a person will do in his or her lifetime. It is the work of maturation.

When two people decide to develop a healthy, interdependent, reciprocal relationship, it is wise for them to take the time to talk about their personal value system and what characteristics they believe create a healthy relationship. For instance, some people value affection as an important condition for a healthy relationship, while others do not. In such a situation, reciprocity will be difficult. Respect is another value that needs to be discussed. Asking one another to define “respect” is an excellent place to start the discussion.

Respect must be reciprocal, and each person needs to be able to articulate when he or she he feels disrespected. Examples of areas that involve respect include philosophy, profession, principles, intelligence, creativity, parenting, and personal growth processes. Reciprocal respect will be difficult or impossible if one partner does not respect the other partner’s beliefs in those subjects. People need to be honest with themselves first so that they can then be honest with their partner. If there is a lack of respect, love cannot continue to grow and the relationship will be difficult, if not impossible.

A basic building block of intimate relationships concerns how people define reciprocity about the exchange of goods and labor. It is prudent to have discussions about those issues, before committing. Reciprocity in other areas of the relationship, such as emotional, physical, or sexual intimacy also needs to be discussed. Negotiating reciprocity is a skill that people can build with one another.

Negative reciprocity often occurs when a behavior has had a negative effect on one person and he or she reciprocates with a behavior that has an equally negative effect. People react to each other without thinking. Partners need to discuss this sort of exchange and learn how to respond to it thoughtfully in order to prevent it from spiraling out of control. If partners have built an emotionally healthy relationship, they can work it out by themselves. Sometimes it is helpful to work with a couples counselor.

For me, in order for intimate relationships to grow and become healthy, lasting, and committed, reciprocity is vital. This type of reciprocity differs from the reciprocity that occurs in other types of relationships, and it's beneficial in some ways. Couples getting ready to commit to a relationship should engage in deep, intimate discussions with each other about how they define love and how they plan to develop reciprocity with each other and keep it growing.

Knowing that change is a consistent process in life will help people recognize the value of preparing the soil for a relationship from the beginning. The thrill of the adrenaline rush that comes from attraction is never enough. That ends—often quickly. It is easy to delude ourselves into believing that a partner can and will be able to build the kind of loving, committed relationship that most of us want. Talking openly, honestly, and deeply with our partners can help us make a better decision about whether or not we are genuinely capable of building a healthy reciprocal relationship.

Enough about that.

My relationship - as it stands - is pretty decent. When I first met Sam, it was like a montage in a movie. You know, the ones just before the hero dies, like the first time that you listen to your favorite singer live, like an echo in a canyon, like tears, but you're not sad, and like a sunrise on a mountain. I can give you so many other examples, but I won't because you'd probably get tired of me giving so many examples when you get emotionally moved by someone.

 _Like a montage in a movie, right before the hero dies_  
_Like the first time that you listen to your favorite singer live_  
_Like an echo in a canyon_  
_Like tears, but you're not sad_  
_Like a sunrise on a mountain_  
_I wanna move you like that_

_Oh, I wanna move you like that (oh, oh)_

_Like a symphony at sundown, in the middle of July_  
_When a lyric really gets you and it breaks you down inside_  
_Like the home that you were raised in_  
_Like faded photographs_  
_Like the thrill of Christmas morning_  
_Yeah, I wanna move you like that_

_Oh, I wanna move you like that (oh, oh)_

_Like a solemn Hallelujah_  
_Like a choir shouts amen (amen)_  
_Like your first time falling in love on a stairway up to heaven_  
_Like a soldier who is falling as he holds his country's flag_  
_And he fights for freedom's calling_  
_I wanna move you like that_

 _Oh, I wanna move you like that (oh, oh)_  
_I wanna move you like that (oh, oh)_  
_Oh, like that, oh (oh, oh)_  
_I wanna move you like that (like that)_  
_(Oh, oh)_  
_(I wanna move you)_

 _Like an endless fire burning_  
_Like a hope that fuels the light_  
_Like the hands that simply hold you, when words can't make it right_  
_Like the first time that I met you, I fell so hard, so fast_  
_Like that montage in a movie_  
_Mmm, the way you move me_  
_I wanna move you like that_

I think I'll leave it at that because there are just way too many things that I can reciprocate my love by giving anagrams and such, but I think you've a better understanding of my life with Sam.  


End file.
